Tips for Personal Style

Via my Tumblr blog I've received many shocking compliments on my personal style! While I was first shocked, I realized why people were thinking such ideas about my style.. I was posting photos where my outfit looked put together and on point, even though I considered my style to be fairly basic. 

Over the past couple of years, I found myself really learning who I am! Something most of us do in our early twenties! I learned that most important of all: you should do what feels right to you, you like what you like. In which case I hope you can all apply these ideas to your own sense of self. 

Quick Point: It's my personal enjoyment to dress up most days, none of these ideas are meant to seem shallow, these are just ideas that I've found work best for me in portraying my best self. I once was the type of person that thought fashion and style were silly, through my own life experiences I've learned that how you dress influences so much of how you treat your life. 

• It's all about balance. My favorite idea in this is to either do: tight on top, loose on bottom, OR loose on top, tight on bottom. Balance comes in many forms with your personal style.. From color balance, to how the clothes fit you, there's so much variety when it comes to making this work.
• Accessories are the key to you and your outfit looking very put together. I'm serious, you can almost never go wrong with this one. Someone can lack matching, be in the most bizarre-looking outfit and still look fabulous as long as they tie everything together. Clothing and accessories go hand in hand.
• Wear everything with confidence. If you can't do that, don't buy it. Chin up buttercup ;)
• Have your key pieces, know them. Know yourself and your style enough to use the key pieces for that style. Me? I love love love to look casual, but also dressy. My key pieces are usually a blazer, some gold rings, and basic colored shirts. I find I can mix and match as I go, I can reinvent my look everyday by just changing the style of my shirt, rings, the color of my blazer, but these are still my outfit staples.
• Inspire yourself! Scroll through Pintrest. Browse the fashion bloggers. Hunt down what look you want to try. 
• Play with your style! Try wearing new items. Try on items at stores and boutiques that you wouldn't normally be interested in! Clothing and accessories look very different on the rack than they do on your body type!
• Yes, body shape is important. Dress for your shape. I'm a firm believer in wearing what you want, but also wearing what compliments your shape. 
• Attitude is fun too! Seriously, you can literally change how well your style looks by the attitude in which you wear it. I love to wear sundresses and roam around, spinning circles, with a bright smile lit on my face. Some days I'll wear the sundresses and not be in a good mood, I know I'm doing my outfit an injustice. This can also be a fun way to experiment too though! If you have never tried spending your day in an edgy outfit with an edgy attitude, I highly recommend it, it's empowering, and really fun to play a different part!

Notes On Positivity

I find that when most of us think of being positive, we have this idea that somehow we will get the things we want because of it. Even I've behaved this way before. I thought that simply being positive was going to bring all of these good things into my life simply because of my attitude. It doesn't always work that way though.

Let's suppose that being positive and being happy are two different states. Being positive is saying that good things are going to happen no matter what, it's saying 'all is well' and being content with your life. Happiness however is probably more of a feeling, a potential result of your positivity.

Think positive thoughts, speak positive words, give hope to others and they're going to see you as positive. There's no trick to this other than to re-write any negative thoughts.

For example.. When you're running distance, what would keep you going?  Thinking about how greatly you would love to stop running, telling yourself you can't do it.  Or thinking about the little goals that are getting you to the big one, mile to mile, telling yourself you can do it, teaching yourself how to keep going and hold hope, keeping your eye on the goal.  As someone who enjoys running I can 100% say it's the second one.

Positivity is a light. It's seeing the bright side. It's optimistic.

It is not getting what you want and still seeing that light.

Keep On Keeping On

In recent weeks I've been stressing myself out with trying to find a job. As a recent college graduate, I thought such a task would be easy, that I'd have companies fighting over me making me wonderful offers for me to begin my career journey with. I was wrong. I'll admit, with a degree in Psychology you really fall into that group of 'trainable' without much leeway to offer 'special skills' to companies. 

As much as I fought with myself to try and be positive and stay happy, I let so much of my life revolve around being upset for lack of having a job so immediately. I begged my mind to go back to it's positive place, and safe to say I wasn't feeling like myself, I was feeling sad in life, an that's okay.

In these situations, just keep on keeping on. Life always gets better, just keep trying to enjoy the experiences and take up every opportunity that you can. You will get back to your good place again, you will feel like you again. 

"No matter what, get up, dress up, and show up." Do what you love in life, even when you're feeling down. Do what relaxes you, try something new, get out and get moving. Allow yourself to feel sad for a while, and then get back to work and eventually, you will find all that you've been hoping for!

I've learned that positivity doesn't always attract positivity. Going after what you want might not always get you what you thought you wanted, but it will get you to some place better.

I was given the gift of a wonderful interview process at a wonderful employer Friday and Today. Today they offered me a position, one which I'm excited about, for more starting pay than I asked, my first REAL adult job! I'm so so so grateful for this opportunity. I've spent more than four hours interviewing and testing with this company. The comfort level was high, they seem just as excited to work with me as I do them, and I get all good vibes. 

My life isn't perfectly on track, and it's not supposed to be. But I can say that I woke up on Friday morning, feeling like myself again, taking chances, and gaining opportunities. Don't force your life. :) 

For During The Storms

From February 9th, 2014

I do believe that it’s important to address that everyone goes through tough times, and that while some of us choose to be positive about these times, we must also realize that not everything can be “fixed” by a change of thought. We all still experience hurt in our lives, and hurt from our experiences isn’t something that you can just stop feeling. 

Yes, I do believe mindset is everything. One of the most amazing things I ever learned was that when you learn something, the neurons and everything in your brain changes too. A very wise professor explained this as we are not the same person after we learn something, at any point in time we can change, our brains literally change for us. 

I have been fighting for over a week now to keep myself in my happy place and full of the energy that so many people seem to admire in me. I’ve been trying so hard, forgetting the beauty in the breakdown. I’m in love with being happy, but life is going to happen.

As stated in Carry On by Fun.:

If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone.
Carry on.
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground.
Carry on.

The point I want to make is, it’s okay to sink sometimes, it’s okay to sit with it, you have to sit with it. It doesn’t have to take you over, but just allow the things around you to happen. When you can’t sleep because your mind is so pre-occupied with the bad, remind yourself that you are just going through a hard time and thateventually you will be okay again, allow yourself to sleep with that peace. 

Get your sleep. Eat food even if it makes your stomach turn because your upset. Go on that walk/run/gym trip because it will make you feel better. Eat something healthy because it helps your brain too. Accept the negative happenings in your life and think positively about your future and the opportunities that are presented to you.

Today I realized I was sinking. I realized it was okay to sink. I know that I have to continue to take care of myself and do what needs to be done in school. I cannot be lazy about my life, and I cannot force the energy that I do not have right now. 

I am sinking and I am at peace with that. Eventually, something will change all of that. I still experience happiness. I still have so much to be thankful for. I just have a lot going on. I’m going to float again in time, but for now I’m going to wait it out as best I can and I’m going to be okay with life. I won’t let it make me bitter simply because things aren’t where I wanted them to be. 

YAY! You're newly single!

Okay, that probably doesn’t actually sound the best if you’re still hurting after a breakup. But I assure you, while your world may feel very out of place, there’s more too look forward to… (as requested last week, here’s a bit on positivity after a breakup… the following may not apply to everybody)

Let me begin with my most favorite Teen Wolf quote from Mama McCall:
”You will fall in love more than once. It will happen again. It will be just as amazing and extraordinary as the first time and maybe just as painful. But it’ll happen again. I promise. But until then, be your own anchor.”

As a few of my followers know, a few months ago I got out of a five year relationship/engagement, and while a part of me was sad for only the day that the actual break-up happened, I was absolutely filled with happiness. And as of a few weeks ago, a much shorter ‘relationship’ ended and wasn’t quite so relieving at first. The point of this is that all breakups are different, and it’s important you recognize this! Sometimes you see them coming, sometimes you don’t, sometimes you’re mentally prepared, sometimes you’re not, sometimes it hurts more than you thought it would, sometimes it hurts less. 

I’m sure an entire book could be written on this, but here’s a few points..

1. As I stated when last asked “Positivity is a choice, you train your mind to see it. That doesn’t mean that things don’t hurt you, it just means you choose to see past that hurt. Optimism, my friend, does not hurt.”
2. If it hurts… know that time heals.Unfortunately, there’s no set calendar for this. In fact sometimes you may think the pain is gone, and it comes back unexpectedly. It won’t last forever. Allow yourself some time to grieve.
3. Stay away from the social networking!! If you can, remove them from your friend’s lists or hide all of their posts, DO NOT feel bad for unfollowing/unfriending. If being their friend/follower effects your happiness in any way, you have EVERY DAMN RIGHT TO UNFRIEND THEM. Even if you decide to stay friends. 
4. Be a realist. You are 100% single. It doesn’t matter if this person mentioned considering trying again someday, this is no time to hold onto that hope. If this person ever wants to be with you again, they ought to prove they’re worthy. Read the Teen Wolf quote above again please. 
5. Be careful what you get rid of. If it reminds you of the person and makes you upset, you don’t need it. If you can disconnect the person from the item, or it’s something of a milestone like your prom photo, it might be worth keeping.. in a box. I’ve never had a problem getting rid of such objects right away, but some people miss them later, so it is best to wait until you’re thinking clearly.
6. You have to let go eventually. It’s not always easy at first. Letting go is going to open your heart to new experiences and opportunities!
7. See the good and the bad in the person you were with. You don’t need to spread all of their negative qualities. Try to think as kindly as you can about them, but always remember that such a person was not meant for you. 
8. Your ex shouldn’t be your only form of making conversation. Get out and do stuff with your friends! Talk about Miley’s latest stunt, discuss your favorite TV show, express how much you love the sky, say good things about the world. 
9. Make new plans. When the routine ends, it’s hard to do anything but sulk with the time that you normally would’ve spent with them. Invite your buddies to the gym, make more time to study or paint or something, get dinner with a friend instead… Fill that time, that time is now full of new opportunities for you!!
10. EMBRACE YOUR NEW FREEDOM. Especially if the relationship was long-term. Your life no longer has to work around someone elses’. You get to explore the choices that you want to make in life, go to school wherever you please (which I recommend anyways), move wherever you’d like to, try a new hobby, no one is there to stop you from going after what you want in life! Find out more about yourself, go after what feels right to you. 
11. Forgive yourself. We all tend to blame ourselves, and perhaps bits and pieces were our faults, but that’s okay. We live and we learn. We are who we are. What happened, happened and we can’t change the past. If you feel the need to apologize to your ex, it’s okay to do so, but do so without expectation. 
12. You will probably have to speak with them again. This talk probably won’t go as it will in your head, so don’t stress it. 
13. Close the book. “I just believe that when that chapter is done, you have to close it and start a new one. That’s kind of where I am right now. Is I felt like I have so much to be thankful for at this time, that my energy hasn’t really been focused on that." - Miley Cyrus

There’s so much to say about this, but the most important thing here is that… time heals. and that love happens all the time, find a better fit. Life goes on. Allow yourself to be happy. 

Being single allows you to be completely you. It may feel strange to those of us just recently out of long-term relationships, but it’s a worthy experience. Life can take you to amazing places, the end of a relationship is not the end of your life. 

Ride It Out!

Let life flow, things do always get better. Get up and try something new, be something new, let yourself fly out. Get up and get out. If you’re going to stay in, do something that moves you. Move yourself to do more. This world needs more help, aspire to inspire something. Feed off of the world around you, feed off of the stories you hear and the people you meet, let this all fill you and bring you change and grow and explore. You have a brain, a body, and a soul: use them. 

You-Time is Important!

Reasons to take some time just for you!

1. You have time to reflect on who you are.
2. You can reflect to see what you may want to change or not change.
3. Self-pampering makes you feel better.
4. You have been saying you’d remove that chipped nail polish all week!
5. You learn so much about yourself.
6. It’s genuine time to relax, you deserve a break.
7. Your brain actually really likes the break.
8. Now you have time to create! To think deeply…
9. Indulge in your favorite book or TV show. Start a journal. Record your life.
10. Remember how good it feels to dance around your room to that fun song and just be crazy?
11. But really, don’t forget to treat yourself to some you-time sometimes. Get a haircut, curl your hair, paint your nails, bake your favorite dessert, go on a walk, paint a picture, cuddle your blankets, think, dance, get inspired, give yourself a break.